My lovely, amazing, loyal readers! I am so sorry for the lack of posts as of late, life has gotten totally hectic, but these changes have inspired me to dive even deeper into this epic chance that we like to call The Stella Files. I’ve just finished my second week of my freshman year of college, and I have felt every emotion on the spectrum. Insane growth, deep love, excitement, freedom, a new sense of self, anxiety, and grieving painful loss. After scrambling to get my brain and heart to match up, and after lots of time (literally on my knees) in prayer, I’ve come to the realization that my world isn’t coming unraveled, it’s being woven into the most beautiful and intricate quilt of adventures. These are just growing pains. There are stretch marks on my heart, wrinkles in my brain and my furrowed brow, but along with those are laughter lines from late nights on campus and grass stains on my jeans.
Throughout all of the drastic change that I have experienced in the past two weeks, there has been one constant in my life, and that is Jesus. Never before in my life have I felt the hand of God moving in my life, and I am thankful for the growing pains that He has sent my way. I read an article the other day (can’t remember, honestly, but I will try to go back and find it!) about “divine redirection” in our lives. In my eighteen years, I feel that I have always been kept on my toes, and for that I am thankful, as it’s come in handy. I sort of pride myself in being adaptable and flexible; able to take the shape of any container that I am placed in, but lately I have been put in a container that I just couldn’t fill. The empty spaces, the nooks and crannies that I was not able to fill, Christ filled for me, and then some. I am learning that God does not take things that we love or have become comfortable with away from us to hurt us. He makes all things work together for those who love Him. I am learning day in and day out that God is intervening in my life with divine redirection, and after prayer for clarity, I feel a deep and inexplainable peace about this divine redirection in my life.
I was laying in bed tonight after a long day of catching up on homework (I’m actively trying to break my procrastination habits…) with a mind unable to stop running. I was turned on my side, eyes closed, and in my mind I was just asking God for peace and for instructions on what my next steps should be. My mind (as it often does) wandered to Instagram and all of the saved posts I have for inspiration. One of my boards is titled, “WISDOM”, for those days when you just need a #FPWriteThisDown type of post to pick you up. Almost instantly, a post captioned, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way” ran across the inside of my eyelids. I couldn’t even help myself or wait till morning, so I actually jumped out of bed and said, “I have to write.” Do I think this is a coincidence? Absolutely not. Funny, God knows He can reach me with His divine redirection through Instagram, of all things. I’ve spent days thinking to myself how I could have done things differently; maybe if I had then the outcome would have been different. But no, this is not about me. This is nothing that I did, there is nothing I could have done. This is Christ’s divine redirection in my life, and it’s time to keep my gaze forward, because THAT is where He is leading me.
Readers, I am extremely flawed. I am not a perfect Christ follower, I mess up multiple times daily, but this I can tell you is true: whatever it is that you are dealing with, there is a greater plan drawn out a very long time ago by a Creator that loves YOU. Embrace His divine redirection, take epic chances, and don’t look back, because you sure as heck aren’t going that way.